Kirby Hoops 3 on 3
by kirbybringsdemise66
Summary: Read the 1st one first. Kirby has now bought a house. However, he now must pay the monthly rent. So, when he sees a way to get the cash, he heads out along with Meta Knight and Dedede to the basketball tournament. He soon discovers that Yoshi survived their encounter and now, since Kirby hasen't paid the rent, buys Kirby's house. If Yoshi wins the tournament, he gets Kirby's house.
1. The commercial

**Set 6 months after _Kirby, Meta Knight, and King_ _Dedede_. Every universe has been merged and Kirby has bought a house. However, he doesn't want to pay the monthly rent. So, well just read this...**

* * *

**Kirby Hoops 3 on 3 **

**Ch 1: The Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball tornament**

Kirby, mass murderer extraordinaire, and his partners in crime, Meta Knight and King Dedede, were watching T.V. when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." Kirby said as he stood up. The puff-ball walked over to the door and grabbed Excalibur. He opened it and saw that it was the real-estate agent. "We're gonna have to kick you out of your house unless you pay up right now." He warned. "Uh, NO!" Kirby shouted swinging the blade and chopping the guy's head off. The murderer then dragged the body back into the house. "I just killed another one." "Just put him with the other 6000." Meta Knight replied sipping his cup of coffee. (DON'T ASK CRITIC 3. I DON'T CARE! THIS IS NO PLOT-HOLE. THIS FUCKING BOOK HAS NO PLOT ANYWAY!)

"We really need to dump them bodies off. It's staring to smell." Dedede complained. "QUIT YOU'RE YAPPING YOU FAT SACK OF CRAP!" Kirby snapped angriliy. ""Kirby, I think Dedede is right on this one. We also can't fit anymore in that locker. Some people are starting to notice." Kirby groaned. "Fine, I'll dump them in a lake tonight. Happy?" "Very..." Kirby plopped down on the couch and turned the T.V. off when Pokemon came on." "Hey, I was gonna watch that." Dedede complained. "I can't. It brings back bad memories for me." "Oh Kirby, stop being a baby. 3 Pokemon are all we delt with." Meta Knight said. Kirby picked off his healing skin from his scars and chucked it at Meta Knight's head.

WAIT! SCARS! OH RIGHT! HERE'S HOW KIRBY GOT HIS SCARS!

(Flashback, right before Quod-force's effect took place) "Why do we have to live here?" Dedede complained. "Dude, shut up! All you've done is bitch. Shut up." Meta Knight snapped. "Here's the key, Mr. Kirby." The seller said. "Thank you very much. DIE!" Kirby replied murdering him. The three made their way into the house. "Hey Kirby, did I ever play for you, the great music I downloaded on my new Ipod?" "How much did this cost?" The puff-ball asked. Dedede ignored the question. "You're going to just adore it." The music began to play.

_"I know you love me. I know you care. Just shout whenever, and I'll be there."_ The Ipod blared. Kirby's face fell and Meta Knight quickly ran to the bathroom. _"I knew you were trouble when you walked in. So shame on me now, flew me to places I've never been."_ Kirby ran to the kitchen and grabbed the longest knife he could find. _"I'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 dollars in my pocket. I-I-I'm huntin, lookin for a come up. This is fuckin awesome."_ Kirby jabbed the knife by his left eye and made 3 brutal cuts next to it. _"Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy! But heres my number, so call me maybe."_

Kirby jabbed the blade by his right eye and cut around it leaving a cut bordering his right eye._ "We don't even have to try. Its always a good time!"_ Kirby jabbed the knife into the top of his head and cut down. The cut was near his right eye and extended down to his feet. _"Oh I just wanna take you anyway that you like. We can go out any day any night."_ Kirby put the knife on top of the first cut and sliced all the way across his body just below his mouth. Dedede danced to these tunes as Kirby cut himself. "Wow, Kirby. You look like crap. How'd that happen?" Kirby looked at Dedede and the knife. "Wanna find out?" He asked.

(End) "That was real mature Kirby. I don't want your rotting flesh on my mask" "Its healing actually."Whatever. I just want to watch some T.V." The knight flicked the T.V. back on. "Why is all T.V. these days garbage?" Dedede asked. "I don't know. Kirby, I'm getting really concerned with our rent, though. We really have to pay it. Those annoying assholes are working for the landlords and-" "I know. I know." "How could we pay it?"

Just then, a commercial flashed on the T.V. "Mario Hoops 3 on 3 basketball tournament. Its here and it has no sexual orientation. Get used to it. It is a chance to win 1 billion dollars. Win the tournament and you win the money. Its that simple. I bet that'll be enough to pay off your rent cost." "My God, Its like its speaking to us." Meta Knight said. "Who gives a damn about this crap!" Dedede shouted. "Get back to the television!" Kirby cried. "You two are dumber then Crack Jack!" Meta Knight yelled. "Whose that?" Dedede asked. "Its some guy named Jack who smokes crack, Crack Jack." Kirby and Dedede looked at each other. "Was that a joke?" Kirby asked.

"You idiots, this is it! This is the chance we need to pay off our rent! No longer shall we murder the rent collecting douchebags that keep trespassing on our property." "You didn't answer my question." "Why the hell do you care so much, Kirby?" "FUCK YOU! THAT'S WHY!" "Can we go to the tournament?" "What're you high? Why don't we just rob the bank?" "Because all the banks are now hidden from you. We can't detect them." Meta Knight said looking at the Critic Three. "Oh how interesting." Kirby said also looking at him. "Can we at least go to the registration?" "FINE... You're lucky I'm nice to you."

* * *

Critic Three, before you post anything, read this: "An internet troll is a person who uses anonymity to cause frustration, anger, impatience or to generally be disruptive for no seemingly good reason EXCEPT to be that nuisance."


	2. Registration

**Ch 2: The Registration booth and Yoshi revealed**

The next day, Kirby, Meta Knight, and King Dedede left their house and headed to the Mushroom Kingdom. They walked until they found Princess Peach's castle. "Is that the damn thing?" Kirby asked panting. "Yes now quit complaining. We are just looking. No one said we had to enter." Meta Knight replied. "Actually the summary did." Dedede shouted. "I love how we all just break the fourth wall for no reason whatsoever." Meta Knight yelled sarcastically. Eventually, after hours of searching, they found the registration booth. Princess Peach was up and running it.

"Walk tall and proud, boys!" Dedede said marching forward. "Easy for you to say." Kirby muttered in response following. They walked up and Princess Peach looked at them. "Names, please." She said. "I'm King Dedede. This is Kirby and Meta Knight." The king said picking up the two puff-balls as he said their names. Kirby sucker punched him in the face. He is so awesome, he can do that. "Don't question the logic, or I kill you and your family!" Kirby yelled at Peach. "Oh, that sounds fun." Peach said softly. "It is.." Kirby sneered as he pulled out a shotgun but Meta Knight yanked it out of his hands.

"What he means to say is that we are here to enter the basketball tournament. We need the money to pay off our fucking rent. We were just killing the douches, but they kept coming so here we are." "You know, you all have such interesting bodies. I've never had sex with a fat penguin or balls. Kirby and Meta Knight looked at each other in horror while Dedede scratched his head. "How about we leave this place and go back to your house to have some fun. I'll pay your rent when we make pie." "FUCK NO!" Kirby shouted. Meta Knight's eyes widened and he violently shook his head. "Meta Knight, what's sex?" Dedede asked.

"Oh, I can teach you. I'm going to take you around the frikkin world, Dedede." Peach said starting to unzip her dress from the back. "THIS HAS BEEN VERY INTERESTING, INDEED! BUT, WE REALLY MUST BE GOING!" Meta Knight shouted. "Oh nonsense. Just give me 5 minutes. That's all I need. You have nothing to be afraid of." She said squeezing Dedede's butt. "Dedede, stanger danger!" Kirby called. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Stranger danger!" He took out Hammy and smacked Peach with the hammer sending her flying over the castle and off into the distance. "What the hell just happened?" Kirby asked shaking his head in utter shock.

They then filled out the registration form and were officially in the Mario Hoops 3 on 3 basketball tournament. Kirby was still in shock but Meta Knight was still trembling in fear. "Here's an idea. Let's take her to court and sue her for sexual molestation. That ought to earn us some cash." Suddenly, they heard an all too familiar voice in the distance. "Yeah they have the symptoms: Fear, shock, confusion, trembling, and court threats. I bet they ran into Peach." Kirby whipped his head to see Yoshi the dinosaur glaring at him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOSHI? DIDN'T YOU DIE LIKE 6 MONTHS AGO?" "Oh my little, pink friend. It takes more than knocking me into the ocean to keep me down. I'm a tough cookie." All three of them had their eyes on their adversary who was then joined by the brown ape, Donkey Kong. "You were right Yoshi. When Kirby, Meta Knight, and King Dedede stand with the puff-balls slightly in front and Dedede is straight, it does look like a penis." He said. "Told ya. Anyways, Kirby, to answer your stupid question, we are in the basketball tournament too. We are going to win that cash prize and spend it on a big "NO TRESPASSING" sign so people will know that we mean business."

"Or you could buy a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign for all the times when your maid walked in on you and Curious George, there, screwing." Meta Knight suggested. "Oh that's rich. Where'd you get that one from, the internet?" Dk asked. "N-NO!" "It doesn't matter, Donkey Kong. When we destroy their asses we'll return them to Heaven. And we'll write "Take back your accidents" right on the package." "We need this money to pay off our rent. We can't let you get in our way!" Kirby shouted. "Wait, Kirby. They can't. They don't have three members." Meta Knight said. "Yeah we do. The last ones running late.

Suddenly, a portal opened and Hell's mightiest warrior, Moogle flew out. "Sorry I'm late guys. I was busy torturing Adolf Hitler by making him sit through a Jewish Hanukkah ceremony." "I though you said you weren't working today." Yoshi scowled at him. "Lord Satan keeps me pretty busy. "Whatever. Have a look at our opponents." Dk said. Moogle's head turned and he sneered. "Kirby, Meta Knight, and King Dedede." "Moogle..." Kirby's eyes narrowed."Who is this guy, Kirby?" Dedede asked. "The devil's favorite demon." The puff-ball replied. "I told you we may be enemies one day. Well, here we are." "You don't scare me." "I will in time." "How did you two even meet?" Kirby asked. Moogle and Yoshi looked at each other and laughed.

(FLASHBACK) Moogle flew forward and sat down on the bench. He was here on earth to claim the soul of The Jonas Brothers' careers. They died awhile ago. Yoshi was on the very same bench reading a newspaper. "Are you done with the section about today's murders?" Moogle asked. "You read that too. Jeez its really hard to find people who actually enjoy murder. Here ya go." Moogle read through. "Lindsey Lohan died today. It finally happened. I've got my work cut out for me tonight." The demon said shaking his head. "I always thought she'd die of drug overdose. Don't know how she just died of old age." Yoshi then said. "I do. She couldn't go to Heaven and Hell just doesn't want her." "You're funny." Yoshi said chuckling. "I'm not kidding. I work in Hell." "Oh my cousin, Tom, works down there." "TOM is your cousin. That guys a freak!" "I know! I hate his guts! I hate people like him too. You know. Those chumps who act like they're the best thing since chocolate." "YES! People who piss on public toilet seats." Moogle said. "People who talk like they have a hook in their ass." Yoshi said. "KRATOS FROM GOD OF WAR! EWWWWWWWWWW!" They both shouted at the same time. "Well, Yoshi, I think this is the beginning of a long, happy friendship." "I think it is."

"Kratos! I hate that chump!" Kirby yelled. "I know! Doesn't he suck?" Dk shouted. "This was nice." BUT WE STILL CAN'T LET YOU WIN!" Meta Knight said. "We shall see." Yoshi said as the three of them turned and walked away.


End file.
